Marianne's Musings

It has been a while since my post on secondary infertility, and I want to share some hopeful updates! Between September 11th and now, I have had a lot of labs, appointments, and procedures with my doctor at OBGYN & Infertility (OGI) here in Minneapolis. We started with diagnostic testing which included: bloodwork, an ultrasound with saline injection, and an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram). First of all, I have been diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) because I meet most of the criteria: (1) Hormone imbalance, which manifests for me with acne and an LH/FSH issue found in the blood tests (2) irregular periods and (3) the beginning of cysts found on my ovaries. My doctor also found polyps in my endometrium. In order for me to have a chance at a healthy pregnancy, the polyps had to be removed and the uterus cleaned out. Otherwise, implantation isn't likely to be successful. On October 17th I had a hysteroscopy, a procedure where they insert a 5 mm camera int...

"The Student" by Jenedy Paige Just less than 3 years ago, after recently having a baby, I wrote a blog post about meeting a woman in India who dealt with infertility: "I don’t have anything profound to say about this experience. But for some reason, the phrase, “for me no children,” is something I have reflected on again and again. It continues to run through my mind as the symbol of what all women with infertility must go through. There are emotions and experiences behind that phrase that I know nothing about. But I have sympathy."  I am feeling the irony now. Now, I am actually very familiar with the emotions and experiences that come with the phrase, "for me, no children." And yet, that phrase is not perfectly accurate in describing my situation. I have one child. Just one, for now.  "Just one" sums it up pretty well. There is a feeling that something is lacking, a feeling that something is not enough, or something is missi...

Today I had an experience with grace that I hope I can remember. It was simple, and yet very meaningful to me. Additionally, I was able to put some of the advice of life coach, Jody Moore into practice. (Check her out here if you'd like to learn more, no this is not meant to be a promotional post).  Ever since I had Lucy, I feel like there are times when my emotional maturity matches hers (it's embarrassing to say the least). I lose it, even if only in my head. When I get frustrated, angry, or depressed, I have the potential to lash out about it.              Today and yesterday we were with Craig’s family in Ohio for his niece’s baptism. Last night we put Lucy down at Craig's brother's house early because she was so tired, and then we went to stay at a hotel with some other family members because there wasn't enough room for everyone at the house. We left, feeling certain that Lucy would sleep through the...