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Josephine's Birth Story

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It had been days since I had any “practice” contractions. I was feeling more eager for the baby to come, although still nervous about the pain I knew I would experience. On Thursday, October 7th, I took Margaret to a nature reserve so that we could visit the nature center and go on a walk. At first I wasn’t sure I should do the whole loop, but I decided to do it even though it’s almost 2 miles. I had her in the stroller. I was proud of myself for doing it! They had a brand new playground as well and Margaret enjoyed that.   That night, I got up to go to the bathroom around 12:30 AM and noticed some cramping. I thought, “well, we’ll see if this goes anywhere.” I kept feeling them off and on, probably almost 10 minutes apart. I remember a couple were more intense (even as I was laying down) and I thought, “hmm….” Eventually I must have fallen asleep because it didn’t feel like I had been up all night when I got up the next morning. I was still awake in the early hours of the morning,...
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A Mindfulness Miracle and the Grace of Christ

Today I had a simple, normal stay-at-home mom experience that illustrates how mindfulness coupled with the healing power of Jesus Christ can help us change. It was around 11:30 AM. I was trying to help Lucy with a preschool activity that went with her lesson on rainbows she had just watched. We were removing the paper from old crayons after having soaked them in water. The goal was to create rainbow crayons by putting them in muffin tins with liners in the oven on low heat. As we were getting the crayons ready, Margaret was on the floor, crying. She was likely getting tired of being set down all morning I suppose. At this same time, I noticed my blood sugar was dropping. I had eaten a homemade granola ball an hour earlier, but it apparently wasn't enough. I knew I would need to get some leftovers out of the fridge and eat lunch soon. In that moment, the thoughts I have had thousands of times since Margaret's birth came into my mind, "How am I supposed to take care of ...
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Pondering Postpartum

"Have ye inquired of the Lord?" "We have not, for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us." These words stung me as I recalled them recently. In fact, there have been several occasions recently when I have realized that I am probably more like Laman and Lemuel than I previously thought. Lately, I have been in a cloud. I was in denial at first, but it turns out I technically have "postpartum depression" according to the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale. I scored a 10 when I filled it out at Margaret's 2 month appointment, which is just on the threshold of what they consider high. As is typical of me, I am very high functioning regardless of what mental ailments I am feeling, and so it would be hard to tell on the outside that I have darkness on the inside. I show up. I'm present. But at various times of the day, I feel emptiness. Being a mother to a newborn again as awakened within me many of the same struggles and questions I had...
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Margaret's Birth Story

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Our sweet Margaret Eve was born on November 30th at 4:02 AM weighing 7 lbs 12 ozs. We are all in love with her, and so far Lucy loves being a big sister. My due date came and went, and I wasn't too surprised or troubled. Lucy was born at 40 weeks and 5 days, so perhaps this baby would come around that time too, I thought. Besides, due dates just mess with your head! They have a two week margin of error and I wasn't going to let myself worry yet. And yet, I felt impatient! I wanted this baby to come. I also slightly feared needing to be induced. Induction has risks, including an unwanted C-section if your body doesn't respond and your water has been broken for over 24 hours. I also was hoping to have an unmedicated birth. However, I knew that I would be willing to undergo any medical procedure if it was for me or my baby's safety. To understand my perspective, it should be known that I read the books, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Gift of Giving Li...
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