Pondering Postpartum
"Have ye inquired of the Lord?" "We have not, for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us." These words stung me as I recalled them recently. In fact, there have been several occasions recently when I have realized that I am probably more like Laman and Lemuel than I previously thought. Lately, I have been in a cloud. I was in denial at first, but it turns out I technically have "postpartum depression" according to the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale. I scored a 10 when I filled it out at Margaret's 2 month appointment, which is just on the threshold of what they consider high. As is typical of me, I am very high functioning regardless of what mental ailments I am feeling, and so it would be hard to tell on the outside that I have darkness on the inside. I show up. I'm present. But at various times of the day, I feel emptiness. Being a mother to a newborn again as awakened within me many of the same struggles and questions I had...